Three deep breaths and I'm ready to go tonight.
I had such a beautiful day today. The community college I will be attending in the spring started registration last week. I was a busy bee trying to get all of my paperwork processed so I can start attending classes and work towards my new career as a Respiratory Therapist. I had a lot to do today. I didn't get much sleep, but managed to get up and get rolling with a bowl of oatmeal. I got to campus and searched for the classroom where I would take my new student assessment exam. When I walked in and told the proctor which exam I intended to take she told me I had to take an additional exam. I tried to explain that my adviser had placed me out of the reading proficiency exam but the woman would hear nothing of it. I knew today was special because rather than struggling or being upset I calmly agreed to take the reading test. "Well, I can read. This isn't a problem".
She instructed me to sit outside in the waiting area until she called me. I noticed at this point that I was unusually calm. I've been working on my mediation skills and it amazing what a simple cycle of breaths can do to your awarenss. It wasn't some drastic mystical thing, but it was as if I was hearing the thoughts in my head and not labeling them as "good" or "bad". The most incredible thing was this freedom from judgement. I wasn't judging myself at all which is usually how I torment myself. At one point I found myself in awe with my mouth dropped open. I felt like a spirit so lucky to be in this universe. It was a peace I have not known for an extented duration. It must have lasted ten to fifteen minutes.
A girl sat down next to me. She was talking, almost yelling, on her cell phone. I wasn't annoyed as I usually would be. A thought kept echoing in my head...
"There is so much joy in being-"
The proctor called me in and as I began my test I found myself getting a little shaken here and there. I would question my answers. At one point I began to get very flustered and felt like I wouldn't test out of the material I wanted. The peace I had known only a half hour earlier vanished and I sat squirming in my chair certain that my whole semester wouldn't play out the way I wanted it. I forced myself to take three deep breaths and push through. As I walked down the stairs to the advising office I agreed to accept whatever classes they placed me in. I thought to myself, "Don't attracted this negativity into your life!"
As I sat in the crowded advising office I wondered if I could get the feeling of calm back. I began my breathing again and within seconds I was centered. I met with my advisor Anita and got the classes I wanted after all. A few more detours to registration, admissions and campus life and I accomplished everything I needed to get done. I'm enrolled in college. The thought came again!
"There is so much joy in being-"
Something is leading me, but it's as if I already know where to go. It's awesome!
Love/Peace/Joy
mellow
3 comments:
i love adyashanti, i saw him live for about 8 hours and it was a great experience...thank you for sharing. it is true i've found, once the mind decides then it truly is stepping out of real-ity...
That's awesome that you got to see Adya. I can't imagine the energy in a room full of that many seekers and Adya himself. His teaching has really accelerated my ability to see beyond the distractions my ego creates. I'm listening to "The End of Your World" and "True Meditation" on audio book right now. Thanks for commenting!
LOVE 'True Meditation', that was the 1st thing I delved into with him, I think...anyways, he is phenomenal. You have inspired me to get back to his work. Thanks!
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