Nothing Real Can Be Threatened...

So I've been stuck in my head for four months now. Couldn't find the words or summon the patience to blog. Pretty miserable really. The ego reals me in at it's leisure and I had all but given up on ever ridding myself of the critical voice that dictates my fears and anxieties 24/7. But Thursday my wife and I went to yoga and I guess the spirit of the universe saw fit to direct me outward through an new energy path. Later that night I walked into my favorite coffee shop and my gaze fell directly on a Alternative living magazine as if at random. I flipped through it and read my horoscope. I noticed briefly a section of event listings and a group that studies A Course in Miracles, the old new age text from the 70's that was supposedly dictated to psychologist Helen Schucman by the voice of Christ. It's basically non dual Buddhism wrapped in Christian terminology with some really interesting reinterpretations of scripture.

Anyhow...as I got home I downloaded the Course and started to read a little. I've tried to start this book and the daily exercises countless times as advised by a couple of my 12 step gurus, but never made it very far. A few lines grabbed me from the introduction as I read Thursday night and they have stuck with me through the weekend.

"Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God."

Further reading made me realize just how uptight I've been lately. If all that exist is a God Consciousness (what's real) and everything else is a manifestation of ego (the unreal) then my depression lies in faulty perceptions. The Course basically states that what we know as reality is a projection of our inner state. My reality then is totally bogus as much of my experience is dominated by fear, anxiety, worry, judgement...all forms of mental noise.

When I quiet my mind a new reality emerges. I can hear my foot steps as I walk, notice my individual breaths and the subtleties around me. I can listen more attentively. I can find joy in having a smoke in the evening's silence or petting the dog. This is all stuff I miss when I'm trapped in ego. No matter how hard I try and beat the spiritual drum the ego must dissipate on it's own. Trying to crush it only enrages it. You can't kill ego with ego. So for now I'll continue my reading and report back.

A couple of useful links about the Course.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_course_in_miracles

http://acim.org/

peace