a good friend won't bullshit you...

Its amazing how another ex drunk can set you straight! Here's a text message between myself and an old friend.

Me:
If I could accept that all things were impermanent I'd be a hell of a lot happier...but maybe that's still my ego trying to protect itself. Maybe it wants to "accept" impermanence so it can feel good all the time...which leads me to believe that it is impossible to use your thoughts to kill the ego. Perhaps only pure love or absolute suffering can beat it into submission, but it only stays dead momentarily. You know I should have stayed asleep man. Seeking enlightenment is a mind fuck!

Friend:
Drop your seeking, it will only distract you from the reality of the thing we call Love/God/etc.

Me:
Are you speaking from experience? Is it better when you take the monks/teachers off their pedestals? I can only experience conscious connection with Love/God during emotionally turbulent times. This drives me to seek a lifestyle where I'm connected all the time and experience less boredom and sadness in my life.

Friend:
I have experience with suffering and I know there is no way around it. Love will take care of us. Life is very difficult, but unbelievably beautiful. More than this I cannot say. God is real.

Me:
Thanks for that affirmation. Its time for some dog walking meditation. I hope you are doing well. Peace...

Friend:
Same to you my brother.